[The Simpsons] Create a checklist to measure Springfield adaptability

Here’s your delightfully serious (and 100% doable) Springfield-life completion checklist. Check ’em off and claim your honorary residency.

• Eat a pink-frosted donut with sprinkles from a local bakery—document with a selfie labeled “Mmm…donut.”

• Watch a minor-league baseball game (live or stream) and cheer for the team as “The Isotopes” all game long.

• Visit a bowling alley; roll three frames without using bumpers (gutter zen optional).

• Attend a city council or town hall meeting and ask one polite, oddly specific question about potholes.

• Buy a slushie from a convenience store and call it a “Squishee” for the day.

• Make a homemade “Krusty Burger” (any burger) and add a wildly unnecessary extra pickle.

• Wear a ridiculously cheerful sweater and say “Hi-diddly-ho, neighborino!” to three neighbors.

• Try a vegetarian day in honor of Lisa; cook one new veggie recipe.

• Learn a 12-bar blues riff (kazoo, phone piano app, or real sax)—name it “Lisa’s Solo.”

• Write “I will not ___” on a page 20 times Bart-style (choose a real habit to curb).

• Take a safe, helmeted skateboard ride for one city block (or skate park lap).

• Host a couch-photo “couch gag” with friends/family; different pose on take two.

• Clip one coupon and actually use it at checkout (Marge would be proud).

• Draft (but don’t actually send) a Moe’s-style prank call list of 5 names; share it as a joke only.

• Sample a “Duff” proxy: local lager or non-alcoholic root beer—if legal and appropriate—then rate it out of 5 “D’ohs.”

• Visit a science museum or power-plant visitor center; take a photo with anything vaguely nuclear.

• Build a mini baking-soda volcano labeled “Springfield Gorge” and get one dramatic “Nooooo!” on video.

• Do a 3-hour digital detox titled “No TV and no beer make Homer something something…”

• Wear a temporary blue wig or blue beanie for one photo captioned “Marge Monday.”

• Cook “Steamed Hams” (aka hamburgers) and serve them with the most elaborate explanation possible.

• Read a campy superhero comic and declare “Up and atom!” before turning page one.

• Visit any shop with heaps of merch (toy/comic/novelty) and argue with a friend about which issue #1 is “the real #1.”

• Try left-handed day: open jars, use scissors, and sign your name with your off hand—post the wobbliness.

• Ride a tram/monorail/people mover and hum “Monorail” under your breath the whole time.

• Plant a lemon tree (or adopt a houseplant named “Shelbyville Lemon”) and log the first new leaf.

• Volunteer one hour at an animal shelter or donate pet supplies (for Snowball II / Santa’s Little Helper vibes).

• Host a backyard or balcony BBQ and label one dish “Krusty-certified” with a hand-drawn sticker.

• Learn three catchphrases and use each once: “D’oh!”, “Ay, caramba!”, and “Excellent…”

• Put together a budget “Barbershop Quartet”: four people singing “Baby on Board” (humming counts).

• Join a local trivia night or run a mini Simpsons quiz with friends (10 questions, bragging rights only).

• Buy a donut for someone else and say, “In this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics…and sharing.”

• Do a positively over-the-top good deed for a neighbor, then say, “Feels like a Flanders day.”

• Take a midday nap titled “Union-mandated power-plant safety rest” (set a timer).

• Cook a gigantic sub sandwich and name it “The Submarine Sandwich of Substantial Size.”

• Attend a community theater show and clap loudly enough to make a stage manager tear up.

• Map all the Springfields in the U.S.; pick one you’ll visit (or research) and learn one fun fact.

• Eat at a classic diner; order something you’ve never tried and review it like a Krusty-sponsored critic.

• Build a model (LEGO, cardboard, or app) of a tiny town block; include “Moe’s,” “Kwik-E,” and “The Android’s Dungeon.”

• Start a tiny ongoing savings jar labeled “Maggie’s College Fund”—drop in at least $5.

• Try a chili night with friends: bring milk, rank heat levels, and avoid hallucinating space coyotes.

• Donate school supplies to a local drive and label the bag “Springfield Elementary PTA.”

• Learn the difference between a tater tot and a croquette; deliver your findings in Principal Skinner voice.

• Take a sunset walk and narrate it like Kent Brockman giving the evening news.

• Hold a family/friend meeting—in your living room—calling it a “Town Hall,” complete with agenda and snacks.

• Spend 15 minutes doing a Ned-level tidy of your home; label the checklist “Okily Dokily Deep Clean.”

• Do one hard thing you’ve been avoiding, then reward yourself with… yes… another donut.

Optional “Mayor Quimby Bonus Round”

• Shake hands with three locals (or fist-bump), promise them “better garbage pickup,” and keep a straight face for five seconds.

When you’ve checked 30 or more, declare: “I, [Your Name], am now an upstanding, donut-powered resident of Springfield.”